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Juanita
I can hardly believe my eyes.....she's grown so quickly.....and in so many ways.....
it seems like just the other day me and her were out back playing basketball or swimming in the community pool down at the rec center.
Or going to the store and bugging mom about buying us toys and candy.....or even playing together with our friends...something we used to do alot.....

its much diffrent now. its so strange to see how she's grown.....instead of bringing home other girls to play with, now she brings home large Mexican men on the Varsity football team.....oh how she has grown.......

it seems like only yesterday........


....mom and dad were ''at it'' again. the walls shook every time they hit each other or something else. mom probably threw a toaster at dad, and vice versa. they screamed and yelled and punched and kicked for hours and hours. then my door slowly opened.

there she was...standing there....with big tears in her little eyes. she was so afraid....she didint know what to do. she held the doll that grandma made for her in her arms....clentched tightly.

i walked over to her....i was young too....probably not more than 10 years old......but i could sense her fear. she didint understand why mommy and daddy fight......she was afraid......

so i picked her up in my arms....and carried her over to the bed. put her on top and wrapped her in the blanket. i cuddled next to her, put my arm around her and told her everything is gonna be just fine.....daddy aint gonna hurt you...dont worry.....

i did everything i could to get her mind away from here.....books....i read her stories out of books.....she liked books....

i whispered stories in her ear.....stories i knew she liked......

everything is gonna be just fine.....momma and daddy are just alittle angry......dont worry.....please dont cry....everything is gonna be fine.......

.....and now she is grown. with a life of her own......a life apart from me.

she dosent talk to me much now.....mostly gets angry at me....and -ironically- she has her father's temper.

so when i see her come home with her new boyfriend.....or when i see her out on the town, partying......

i see a diffrent girl.....a diffrent woman.....than i used to know.....than i used to take care of......

but sometimes.....once in a while.......she will look at me, and for a split second....i will see that little girl in her eyes. the scared little girl that she used to be.......she still has big tears in her little eyes.....but much deeper inside now.....and i still want to care for her......i still want to wrap her in the blanket and tell her stories and make her feel better and sing her to sleep.......

....no matter how hard she tries to run from the past......no matter how hard she tries to erase the memories....she will always be my little sister, and i will always be her big brother.

I love you, Juanita.